About Satya (Me)
This was an enclosure along with my Adoption plea…
My name is Satyanand.
I was a wanted and loved child until I was nine months old. At this time when I was so new to this world, my destiny took a sharp turn and changed my life forever. Along with my two parents, I was involved in a car crash; my beloved parents were killed and I was allowed to survive. Even today, I sometimes question the will of God, but I know that nothing is accidental and happens without a cause; so I accept he must have had a good reason for taking my parents home only to leave me to fulfill my obligations in this lifetime without their guidance and upbringing.
There were no living relatives alive, or that wanted me, and I was taken to an orphanage. I was only nine months old, but I believe all souls at some level, have an awareness of their circumstances. I also believe all souls born into this world understand love, and know they have come from the source of love; and from birth seek to love and to be loved.
Now, while I do not have the awareness of what I understood or felt at that time, I know the circumstances have urged me to accept the responsibilities of being a parent to an adopted child. I want to give love to a child that feels unloved and abandoned. I want to give her a good education. I want to teach her self-reliance and independence. I want to teach her selflessness through respect and love for herself and humanity. I want her to grow up knowing she is loved, and while God may have chosen a parent that is different to her birth parent, the purity of my love for her will be unquestionable.
I lived in the orphanage for 6 ½ years. Then a husband and wife, who had been unable to conceive for 13 years, chose me to be their son. They were a very wealthy Marwari family who owned a gold jewelry store. They had the financial means to support a child; did they have the love?
The mother desperately wanted a child; the father was not so happy about adopting and made it very clear that this was to him a distasteful burden that was being forced on him by his wife.
Initial paperwork was completed and I went home to become a part of their family. But, I was never allowed that privilege! The mother was kind and caring, but the father set into motion the feelings that would make me feel inadequate, inferior, abandoned and lacking in love. He did not want me there and treated me as a stranger who was imposing on his life.
At times, I felt I would have been better staying in the orphanage. At least there, I was not forced to confront such emotions, because I did not have the comparison.
However, I was learning to cope and accept the circumstances given to me by a power higher than my ego, and my loving nature endured everything positively.
Change seemed to be the catalyst to initiate new learning experiences that would mature me physically and spiritually; and they seemed to be happening quickly in this new home. Only four months after I had been taken into the family, my mother conceived. Both were very happy about this miraculous happening in their lives, and in my father’s mind he believed he had been given confirmation that my presence in the family was not needed. He had made it clear all along that I wasn’t wanted, but now I wasn’t needed also.
A boy was born nine months later and they doted on this sweet soul. Now, I found myself being pushed further and further into the background and my father’s emotional abuse only escalated.
Then another child, a girl, was born to this couple and my father’s abusive tirades became more explosive. He beat me frequently with his hand, belts, wire and anything that he could reach quickly. But the scars from his emotional abuse were far worse.
Then another tragedy took place when I was nine that brought another new turning point into my life. My father sent me from the home and for two days I roamed the streets and slept with the homeless. It was a difficult time, but the street dogs cheered me up. They would come up to me and wag their tails as if to say they were my friends and would protect me. My mother spent those two days searching for me; and it was her compassion that brought me back home.
I was popular at school, even if I was not at home, and the school authorities saw the character building in me and offered to help me. I was strong, independent and determined. From my 6th Standard, even though my parents were very wealthy, I took on part time work and I paid for my school expenses. I did not want my schooling to be a burden on my parents.
I excelled at school and proved to be very bright with my studies. What was interesting was that I did not study much, yet I excelled with exams. My teachers saw me as superior to my peers and based on my academic results, sporting achievements, and leadership skills they voted me to represent the school as School Captain for two years.
I completed Twelfth Standard and four days after I finished (with honors), my mother died.
I was numb with shock from the death of my mother, and I knew I had to leave the house that had become my home, and become independent. My father was happy to see me go, and had things that are more important on his mind than my future.
The first 48 days were terrible. I was only 16½ years old and had to draw on my intelligence and resourcefulness to find food, water and shelter for myself. I lived on the streets with the homeless, for I too was now homeless, and nobody cared. Well I am sure there was someone out there that cared, or would care, but I didn’t know where to find them. God willing, I knew I would be protected and taken care of.
And I was! A kindly Muslim gentleman who lived near our home showed a benevolent attitude to me after I was adopted. He gave me good advice like a father would do, and I felt warm and happy with this man. He always instilled truth and human values in me, and told me that to be truly successful in life I should live by truth. He taught me that the true wealth in life was contentment; and that if I was content, irrespective of the circumstances that were presented to me, then I was truly successful and wealthy. He asked me what I wanted to do with my life and I told him that while I wasn’t sure what I would do professionally, my greatest aspiration was to adopt a young girl child and bring her up with love. “I want to give her a chance in life and show her that there are people who genuinely care for orphans and only want the best for them. I want to educate her academically, morally and spiritually.”
The man recognized my sincerity and applauded my humanitarian ideals. I was a somewhat shy and humble lad and was not drawn to praise, but I did feel a deep sense of self-worth with his word; and I was encouraged and inspired by his paternal and loving nature.
Like the father I never had, this man helped me, clothed me, and fed me. I treasured the time I spent with him, but nothing is permanent and I felt an inner calling to go somewhere where I could make a future for myself.
This kindly soul was anxious to see me do well in life, and gave me 160/-, which was more than what he could really afford to do, and encouraged me to follow my dreams. But I was unaccustomed to having money and didn’t know how to handle what was a huge sum for me at that time. I remember feeling afraid, but for what reason I do not know. I felt very hungry, and was not sure of the reason for this also. Possibly I was just feeling very anxious about leaving the place I had come to call home. So, between fear and hunger, I spent the whole 160/-.
It was my plan to go to another city, but now I didn’t have any money for expenses. I felt very badly, mostly because I felt I had done the wrong thing by the man who had placed so much faith in me. I was already at the train station, feeling very alone and not knowing what to do. The people who worked at the station noticed me sitting all forlorn and came and talked to me. I told them what had happened and they said, “don’t worry, we will see what we can do to help you.’’ And so, during the day, they shared some food with me and brought me tea whenever they were having some. I appreciated their kindness and friendship, and kept the teachings of my Muslim friend ever in my heart.
When a goods train pulled into the station, the station workers spoke to the driver, who agreed to take me on the train with him. I hadn’t started my journey, but already God had taken care of me. I was learning that life was a journey with many stops along the way.
Some time later my journey took me to Bangalore, but at first I found it hard to survive in this big cosmopolitan city. Nevertheless, the hand of God was directing my destiny and before long I had a marketing job and registered at Bangalore University where I completed my B.Com and an MBA in marketing. I really never looked back again from that time.
I have grown up through hardships, which have developed a loving, tolerant and patient nature. But more importantly, they have developed character. I believe the result of all education should be character; but I give credit to the school of life for developing my character. I have achieved professionally, but I am still to achieve my dream of adopting a girl child.
I know I will be a loving, protective, patient and compassionate father who has so much to offer to an adopted child. I have my own experiences through which I have learned as an adopted child and as a human being; and I know and understand what an adopted child feels for, grieves for, yearns for, and needs.
An adopted child does not seek for wealth, it yearns to be loved and to be allowed to love. It seeks acceptance and help to be tolerant and accepting of others.
I know I will be a good father who will teach my daughter the practical things of life as well as teach morality, spiritual ideals, and human values. I will encourage her to grow up with ideals and love for humanity.
I know I have a great deal to offer an adopted child; and I know that child will be the instrument to teach me also.
Life continued……..
